June gloom
Midway through the month, midway through the year and I am feeling a tiny bit bereft at how this year is unfolding. In a surprise plot twist of the century I am embarking on a journey of completing a Master’s Degree in Library and Information Science and I am beyond thrilled for this. Basically…ya girl is gonna be a librarian one day and it is with absolute delight and amused chuckles I announce that because how did I not perceive I would end up here? I was raised in my local library, my daughter and I visit three libraries weekly where we live and I am a staunch believer and advocate for the essential role of the library in generating community that is accessible, person-centered and above all else free from socio-economic barriers. So it hath been written, so it shall be. This path feels right and I am more sure than ever that I can finally stop my ‘searching for meaningful work’ phase and begin my ‘equipping for meaningful work’ phase.
While that transition feels all well and good it has come wrapped up in a world of challenge and confusion about what is happening to humanity as a whole and how I am also feeling simultaneously overwhelmed and exhausted by others. This week the strap on my running watch snapped and fell and when I went back to get it someone had taken it. A watch of all things to take feels so personal and it makes me sad that we don’t try our best as people to reach and aid others in whatever way we can. It just felt like affirmation that we are living in an ‘every man for himself’ time. Can we find a way to prove that assessment wrong?
The feelings of excitement at the prospect of the slow moving cogs to come, and frustration at the snails pace in which they are turning is infuriating. Supposedly, that’s the human experience. I am seeking more space and peace and quiet about my life, less noise, opinions and hurry too. June feels a lot like that, chilly often gloomy unpredictable mornings that burn away to stunning, beachy summer nights of sun drunk evenings and unlimited prospects.
Reads
In the wake of a burgeoning new chapter in the life of my child, I am quite frankly seeking solace anywhere and everywhere that the decisions and ways in which I conduct our lives and hers are good, true and honourable.
There has been a whispering, a murmuring of a film perfectly designed and designated to evoke the deeply entangled emotional animal beast of my belief about life coming to our screens soon. And it is here now and I am moved and hopeful and I want to stress that anyone who wants to understand what life is about, what real actual non-fake life is, see this film. It is based on a Stephen King novella, The Life of Chuck, in his anthology If It Bleeds. Honest to goodness he is one of my all time heroes of character writing. He sees how to capture life in it’s fullest and most accurate. When I watch a trailer of this kind and I am crying not eleven seconds in, I know it’s done it. Here is a great article on NPR about the film,
We're all going to die. What now? 'The Life of Chuck' sits with this question. In this time where there is so much hurting, the hope and beauty of more in stories like this one are essential.
Bants
There are no ifs ands or buts about it, we are living in some dark times. Things are not…well with the world. How do we as a people hold onto hope that life is worth living when every day brings more pain and slog and sad turns of events in the global community? You may have read my (controversial in my opinion) post on decentralising ourselves as the lead role in the play of our lives and I will firmly hold to the position that doing so is part of the reclamation of a ‘good life’. Beyond that I am still working the kinks out on my survival kit to the end of the world so check back with me on that. Part of it, I stress, is laughter and seeking fun and just the many short silly moments that tie us to one another as people outside of our performance in miniscule ways. I recently went to see a live comedy show in Los Angeles, it was Jimmy Carr a famous British comedian on tour in the US. He was painstakingly hilarious, risque and allowed me to laugh and breathe and BE in a way I haven't for a good long while. The experience reminded me of why life is worth living. So I gently suggest, if you have the means, to find some manner of laughing ecstatically and in a fully embodied manner within the next week. It will do you a world of good to just let go into laughter, I mean it humour heals the horrors of the human condition.
Eats
I am still figuring out how to feed a toddler, also a meat eater at that. I am so used to eating one type of way (mostly vegetarian) and grew up eating another type of way (mostly with very little) and worry this type of way I am doing completely wrong for her. This week I made her chicken nuggies. I have heard on the parenting grapevine that these are a staple of the classic american child diet. We did not eat them that much growing up except occasionally at McDonalds. However, I wanted to make my own as I feel like the cost to benefit ratio with store bought ‘convenience’ foods never seem to work out in the parents favour. I don't mean in the sense that the food is ‘not good for you’ or whatever, I hate that framing of foods. I mean that for my cost, I don’t get a lot of value as the food is consumed at a higher rate due to being less nutritionally dense yet yummy meaning I need to buy more spending more than if I figured out how to make it myself with more nutritionally dense ingredients. This would reduce the cost, maintain the ‘taste’ benefit and stretch the food more so I spend less in the long run. The biggest cost would be my time which is whatever in the grand scheme of being an over-hyped energiser bunny type human. I love the website Yummy Toddler Food for these kinds of things and they certainly came in clutch with their chicken nugget recipe which my toddler inhaled (of course everything had to be covered in “SAUCE”).
Homemade Chicken Nuggets (with Sweet Potato)
10/10 would recommend for an easy and satisfying meal for littles, or yourself if you like nuggies I certainly did before I gave up meat.
As I leave y’all till next time I have a question, do you ever feel like you are the version of you lite? As in, you are you but someone else is doing you to the nth degree…better, fuller, more expressive, more how you want to be in your self-presentation. Asking for a friend of course…lol.